How to find out what you're worth without dating a programmer:
1. Save your vacation days. Apply for jobs, take vacation days for interviews and see how much your worth. You don't have to take the job but you're more than welcome to practice your interview skills, negotiation skills, and find out what you're worth (via how much they're willing to offer you before they tell you to screw off). Make mistakes in those interviews and learned from them.
2. Network with people and talk to them you might get an idea of what you're worth too.
3. Use sites like Indeed.com and search your particular title or skill set. They might give you an idea.
4. Talk to your head hunters. They might spam the crap out of you, but ask them about the position they're giving you and what their successful candidate got as salary. Remember job recruiters get paid via percentage of the negotiated salary. If they hired me for 80k and the recruiter contract with employer is 20% of the salary then they get 20% of 80k from the employer (NOT I, or out of my pocket).