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>Personally I find the increasing emphasis on work as a way to derive personal satisfaction troubling. It looks like a subtle trap to me. A way to convince people to forgo time with their family, hobbies, side ventures and anything else you might possibly derive happiness from in favor of just working more and trying to convince yourself that that is enough.

Extremely well put. This entire concept has troubled me for a long time and you've really nailed it pointing out that we're increasingly advising people to get their joy in life from their work instead of the literally MILLIONS of other things they can enjoy. Thanks for that.

> Personally I find the increasing emphasis on work as a way to derive personal satisfaction troubling. It looks like a subtle trap to me. A way to convince people to forgo time with their family, hobbies, side ventures and anything else you might possibly derive happiness from in favor of just working more and trying to convince yourself that that is enough.

A counterpoint to this is that many people -- myself included -- see that we spend so much of our waking hours at a job (about 40% assuming a 40-hour week) that we want to spend that 40% doing something that makes us happy.

So it's not that work defines us or drives our satisfaction, but that work makes up a large part of our lifespan, and it seems wasteful to spend it doing something just to facilitate the happiness of the other 60%.

I don't want to strive to be happy just 60% of the time -- I want to strive to be happy 100% of the time.

I completely understand the sentiment - 40% seems like a lot to be "burning" for the sake of the other 60.

But it's helped me to think about this in a different context: think about the time you spend with your spouse. How much of that time is taken up with "life's necessities" like doing laundry, dishes, prepping meals, cleaning, more cleaning, driving places, even arguing and getting hurt are all part of relationships... And all that stuff takes time and it's not a nice meal out or a walk on the beach or an impromptu dance session. There's a lot of the mundane in our most treasured relationships, and the only people who have a problem with that are teenagers.

Should work/life really be any different?

Those "life necessities" in a relationship are not so bad because the goal, i.e. the relationship is (usually) very important to us. The same goes for a job. If you are working on something that has a great value to you, even the boring tasks are usually not so bad. However if you are in a job where the final goal is of no interest to you things change. If tasks are boring and mundane, you will burn out quickly. In effect I believe that anything we do has to have at least something that is important to us, whether it is the journey or the goal it self, otherwise it would be very difficult to keep being satisfied with what we do.

Typical people need to sleep for 25%-30% of each day, it is hardwired into our biology. I think that "strive to be happy 100% of the time" can be turned into an excellent excuse to sleep deprive yourself, in order to avoid making hard decisions about what to prioritize in your life.

You can apply the same logic to your job. Everybody needs to earn their keep. That's a fact of life. People that already want an excuse to forgo their live for the sake of work will take it as confirmation of what they want to hear.

Not to say that what you say is wrong, just to point how it can be use it to rationalize if taking literally and/or out of context.

I've heard advice in a similar vein as this and it really sounds great. I try to stay in this mindset but a part of me really struggles with the idea that I'm going to spend 40+ hours a week on a "means to an end". It just seems like such a long time to be unhappy, or at best not miserable?

For me this is the reason why I became a freelancer right out of college. While in hindsight I might have benefitted from some proper 'employee' experience in my field, the risk that I would've just stayed in that mode make me happy that I didn't make that choice.

As a freelancer living well below my means, I have the freedom to be as busy or relaxed as I want (within certain boundaries). Unlike an employee, it is up to me to be productive, improve my skills, handle my finances... or just do nothing all day. And unlike many other freelancers who don't live well below their means (or can't, it should be said), I don't often run into the problem that I have to accept a huge workload for long periods of time so that I can pay the bills in fallow periods.

Freelancing is not for everyone, and not every freelancer is as lucky as I am. But considering that many people could reach my 'level' of income by intensely studying and practicing for a few months, I'm often frustrated by how many people around me remain stuck in full-time jobs they truly hate, especially when these are low-paying jobs.

That's why one of my personal focus right now is to slowly reduce the amount of hours I spend at work, in order to have more time for various projects outside of it. This may change if I ever hit something interesting at work, but so far, all of the things I ever done for money felt like utter bullshit. Funnily, I entered the workforce strongly believing the "work in what you love" mantra, but through years of being unable to find it in the space of available jobs I got completely cured of that belief.

Its difficult to compartmentalize your job so that the negatively doesn't seep into all parts of your life.

Hmm, I do agree with parent poster, happiness of one should not be derived from work at all costs. We all are not some copy paste robots. For most folks out there, job is just a job (talking about IT). Not horrible, not great all the time, somewhere in between with highlights and darker parts. Overall, when all + and - sum up, result will be + (if not, change jobs. very easy for most IT professions).

There is great amount of space for creativity in any job, but also a lot of have-to-do-it stuff. Isn't it easier to accept this ballance in life and try to reach some perfect spot within it, rather than strive for problem-free or chores-free life? (anyway it would be boring as hell).

At the end, we are all unique. Do what feels right for you, just accept that other out there might have very different goals and drives. I am quite (a lot) happy in my current spot in life and balance I achieved, but I know a few people that would not enjoy it as much.