But parsers are also the kind of stuff you almost always end up writing in C/C++, and there are semi-compelling reasons for doing so - chiefly, performance and flexibility. You can disagree and make your pitch for Ocaml or JavaScript or whatever, but really, if we had clearly superior choices, we wouldn't be dealing with this problem today (or it would be a much more limited phenomenon). There are some interesting contenders, but the revolution won't happen tomorrow, no matter how much we talk about it on HN.
Perhaps a more fitting conclusion is that if you are parsing untrusted documents, our brains are too puny to get it right, and the parser really needs to live in a low-overhead sandbox. Mechanisms such as seccomp-bpf offer a really convenient and high-performance way to pull it off.