Aw man, I wish I had answers for you. Your situation reminds me of when I was in the Army. I had recently left an elite unit, and was working a dull job in the regular Army. A senior NCO took me under his wing and, sensing that I was unhappy, asked me what was going on. I hated my job. I hated my situation. I hated the Army. I hated my living quarters. I felt like I was in prison. I didn't feel that I was any good at being a soldier.

He told me something interesting, something that has stuck with me. He said that "...a good man will always be a good soldier; but a good soldier will not always be a good man. It's more important to be a good man." Or some shit like that. But it helped me.

Focus on that: Being a good man. Be a good father. Be a good husband. And don't get all caught up in some kind of false choice: The idea that you can only a) continue commuting for hours to work for a dickwad boss on a project you hate or b) stop working. There's probably some middle ground you can find, that might allow you a shorter commute, a boss who's less of a dick, a project that's slightly more satisfying.

Just don't be that guy who quits his job to work on his novel and then, six months later, is waking up at noon with saliva-Cheeto stains on his laptop, his underwear, and his remote control. Trust me man, I've been there, too.

Namaste,

Fred