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Comment by parennoob | Hacker News Reader

"To complicate matters, most of the people in the industry are young men, a cohort not good at acknowledging their own problems, or understanding other people’s."

Does this not seem like oversimplification and rampant stereotyping?

I am a "young man" (well, below 30 anyway, though in SV I'm probably a bit long in the tooth), and it hurts to be constantly and systematically belittled in this manner. I have problems, and other people in the industry do too. Singling out one particular gender and age group and making them the bad party doesn't help anyone.

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I read that sentence as 'there is a systemic problem in society that young men aren't allowed to be fragile, sad &c' and that with the overlap between men in tech and that problem, we have an opportunity to give you a nudge in the right direction, should you need it.

I read it as that too, and I applaud that sentiment, but I agree that the "or understanding other people's" seems a bit harsh in context.

I'd even agree that in my own early 20s I was quite bad at appreciating the perspectives and life experiences of people from different backgrounds, but it's not the best way to gain the trust of people who might benefit from the service!

I suppose they mentioned it to suggest that you may not feel comfortable opening up to your colleagues and/or social group, especially if they are young men who are traditionally expected to put on a front of everything being fine and may not be open to emotional/personal discussions, which is a valid concern; but it's a shame it sounds like it's questioning the empathy of many of its readers.

Forgot to say: this is a really nice idea, I hope it works well.

Just to clarify: in saying that as a cohort, young men are not good at acknowledging their own difficulties or understanding other people's we don't mean that they don't care, or wouldn't care if they understood.

It's certainly not blaming them, or making a moral judgement. It's absolutely nothing to do with being "emotionally stunted". The gap is one of understanding, and it's a cultural one.

Since young men make up most of this industry, this tends to make the industry as a whole bad at understanding and dealing with these kinds of problems, which in turn makes it harder for the individuals in it to understand better.

Men don't have a monopoly on "burnout, exhaustion, depression" so the negative blanket statements about men could be left out entirely.

The first part of that is true, but they are the ones who are least likely to seek help, and the most likely to be at DjangoCon. This is why we are addressing young men in particular.

I see what you mean; you were addressing the major target demographic.

I think the part about "not good at acknowledging their own problems, or understanding other people" could have possibly been phrased better (your "least likely to seek help" makes far more sense). However, given this broader background, I see that the intentions of this counseling are good.

Thanks a lot for making it happen!

I think we have to forgive Daniele for making a bull-headed statement, since he is probably not that socially sensitive by virtue of being a man.

I guess you didn't read the part about "have problems understanding other people's"? It seems like we need more awareness of mental health because (young) men are too emotionally stunted to relate to other people's problems.

Yes, it's also nice that they acknowledge that men sometimes have issues that they don't feel like they can tell other people about.

EDIT: Though strictly speaking there is a difference between "not being good at acknowledging your own problems" and "not being able to acknowledge your own problems because of societal factors". So I'm still not totally sure what they mean.

I read the whole thing, but I didn't read as a mens issue at the root (again) but a issue with how we as a society bring up boys and how we expect them to be as young men.

(If it helps to understand my perspective, M/29 history of anxiety, panic attacks and depression).

I don't understand why you support your linked article but not Djangocon's statement. They're saying the same things: men have problems too, we shouldn't dismiss them just because they (usually) aren't caused by structural oppression, men are not typically encouraged by society to deal with their problems in a healthy way and it's nice to fix that where we can.

The linked article validates my choice of never getting involved with those groups concerned with so-called structural oppression.

Men are statistically less likely to seek help for health problems.

I read the first two paragraphs and thought "finally, something about people having problems without bringing men up as a bogeyman (in the context of tech)". But oh well.

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