Competence is not a cure for the fear of incompetence. The courage to play incompetently is a cure for fear of incompetence. Put in contrast, I think it has more value than standing alone.
Competence is not a cure for the fear of incompetence. The courage to play incompetently is a cure for fear of incompetence. Put in contrast, I think it has more value than standing alone.
I would ask the next question; which is the more important problem we are trying to "cure" -- the lack of competence or the lack of courage? One can lead to the other, but not vice-versa.
So if I lose the fear, I'm good. It's then irrelevant whether I ever become competent, except possibly that my playing at a certain level of skill would make it interesting for my friends to play me.
But otherwise, it's just the fear that concerns me.
You are being so honest about your ego that there seems little doubt it is starting to dissolve and you will regain the lightness of touch and mood that betokens huge creative power.