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Comment by orbitur | Hacker News Reader

> Lastly on the way to a conference room on the second floor I walked a fair amount through the office and what was notable to me was that I didn't see anybody smiling or even anyone who looked like they might be enjoying what they are doing

Please don't ever make this assumption. I referred an acquaintance from school to my workplace (he was a great project partner, and I was the first of us to get hired after graduation, so why not?), and apparently when he passed through everyone was just... doing work. That was a telltale sign that everyone was grumpy to him.

I had to explain that we basically don't work at all on Friday afternoons because we're too busy drinking, we play pingpong religiously, frequent out of office events on the weekends, and in general it's just an enjoyable crowd. Random conversations happen all the time.

But nope, that one time he came through the office, everyone looked unhappy. Because they were working, I guess.

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[...] frequent out of office events on the weekends [...]

That sounds ... very strange. Weekends aren't generally speaking "office hours", and more importantly also not "working hours". Having an "out of office event" in my world is when you're doing work, i.e. it's during normal working hours, but you're not at work.

Having frequent work-related "events" on weekends sounds like a total bummer.

Depending on the work culture, out of hours event is a minefield. At the very least, you should have an opt-out possibility and not looked down upon if you do opted-out.

Totally voluntary. Work just pays for them. A number of people opt out and no one judges them.

How do you know what your coworkers think?

Because everyone that works at Netflix thinks the same way. They ensure that with their hiring practice that alienates anyone that thinks differently.

I had to explain that we basically don't work at all on Friday afternoons because we're too busy drinking,

This also sounds like a major bummer -- aside from the fact that does smacks (way too heavily) of bro culture, it's incredibly off-putting to anyone who doesn't drink (or who does, but thinks drinking in the office -- or drinking heavily in the afternoon on any kind of a regular basis -- is basically pretty stupid).

If people are either happy or working then that's actually a problem. You don't apply to a company to spend Friday afternoon drinking beer, but to work, right?

The point is that it's not either/or. People who are working can be mistaken for people who are unhappy, simply because they're busy. It's an assumption that should be avoided.

First of all don't tell people what the should or shouldn't think. Not only is it condescending but its ridiculous. Also this wasn't an assumption it was an observation. This wasn't people with their head down working, this was eye contact I made with many people in different states of being at work and none of them could muster a friendly smile. That's completely different.

> First of all don't tell people what the should or shouldn't think.

But it's okay to tell them what to do?

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