You are failing to accept the measured fact that people who think they are giving out equal treatment, are mistaken.
Privilege blinds you. There are problems you never see, that if you knew about you'd be all like "Shit, seriously? that really happens? That's awful". But because you never know, you fill in the blanks with your own privileged experience and so erase them. There are problems, like this one, where your eyes believe they have seen equality, but a camera and stopwatch measures unfair treatment.
You need to stop being so trusting of your own inputs.
Those "different rules for every demographic" are there to (crudely) rebalance the scales. They aren't really different rules. They are compensating for the fact that supposed neutrality is skewed hard. Think of them as komi in go.
And the concept of privilege is there to teach you how the real world works, because unaided, you'll never see it.