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Comment by rhino369 | Hacker News Reader

Most people want a waiter to come by because its rude to wave a waiter over.

European service sucks.

No, most people probably want to eat their meal in peace and quiet.

They don't need a waiter coming over every five minutes - specifically so that you'll remember that and equate it with "attentiveness" and "great service" when it comes to time to tip.

Next time you are out at a fine dining place, which tend to be very selective about hiring wait staff, see how they do it. That's really what people want.

I'm sure there is a large minority who just want to be left in peace and quiet, but you aren't the average customer.

A good waitress will know when to time her visits so she isn't always there but you don't notice her absence.

For that type of waitress I will not hesitate to tip 22% or higher.

Personally I loathe the intrusive cloying fake-friendliness of US waiters. I've had a few pretty poor[1] experiences despite not eating out that often in the US.

I have eaten out in the UK considerably more often and had fewer poor experiences.

maybe it's just a cultural thing?

How in the world do you know that the friendliness is fake?

Because the alternative - that people actually behave like that in their real life outside work - is not supported by my interactions with people outside the work environment.

Everyone has a level of friendliness. You step inside a restaurant and it gets ramped up dramatically. Some US places feel like the Disney store which has almost oppressive levels of forced-friendliness. (Where -employees- "cast members" are instructed to "spread the magic".)

I think it depends on how you see and interpret the friendliness. In some cultures it's not so much faking it as it is fulfilling a (n expected) role. So it is actually a sincere execution of a role and not fake --on the other hand outside this role their personality can be quite different.

Absolutely. I have a certain level of friendliness to random strangers. But customers of any kind? I sincerely care about their experience of dealing with me and my company. So if I come off as more friendly when dealing with them, I'd say that's genuine.

Because it usually runs out pretty quick and they're a little too friendly too quickly. I.e. Tries to sit down with you and make small talk.

It's not rude at all to catch their eye, or are you using the finger clicking method?

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