I agree that good typing skills do not necessarily make you a more productive programmer. But I do find that it is a skill that compliments other programming skills nicely. It's also nice for countless other parts of my workflow that do not include programming.
That being said, you will never know the benefits of touch typing if you can't touch type. You seem to be threatened by the thought of it being a valuable skill so I won't try to convince you otherwise.
> there are literally thousands of things you can do that will be much more useful than learning to touch type dvorak.
You could say this about any skill or hobby. You are not the arbiter of usefulness. Plenty of people have derived utility from learning to touch type Dvorak or Colemak. You're writing them off out of pure ignorance.