Comment by mlichtenstern | Hacker News Reader

Comment by mlichtenstern | Hacker News Reader

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Patronising? I find it interesting when people take offense to things so easily. How is sharing my personal experience patronising? I didn't say it wasn't hard - or "really, really, bloody hard," but given that there are people mining for coal, risking life and limb in the armed forces, and children digging through trash heaps for a living, I'd venture to say it's not THAT hard.

The first three years of my daughter's life I was also caregiving for a dying parent and working full time. Life is hard. But parents are just as capable - if not more driven and willing to sacrifice - than anyone else and I don't think we should marvel at that (or as in recent news, imply women should freeze their eggs to pursue their careers). People have been having kids and working from the beginning of time. I know women from previous generations who have had ten or more kids and worked full time. Very common in the American South during the 20th century.

Sharing your personal experience isn't patronising. Telling the world you're shocked at how hard people make it out to be based purely on your single personal experience IS patronising.

You're right, of course people have been having kids and working single "the beginning of time", but that doesn't change whether or not they find it hard, does it? Playing "who's got it worse" top trumps only serves to alienate those who ARE struggling at a time when they most need support.

And I wasn't offended, for the record.

"Telling the world" I'm shocked at how hard people make it out to be BASED ON MUCH MORE THAN "purely" my "single personal experience" is not patronizing. Why would you assume it is based on my experience alone? I've referenced other examples elsewhere, including a self-made millionaire and mother of four - and there are countless others. Your response speaks much more to your personal experience of how hard it was for you.

pa·tron·ize ˈpātrəˌnīz,ˈpatrəˌnīz/Submit verb verb: patronise 1. treat with an apparent kindness that betrays a feeling of superiority. "“She's a good-hearted girl,” he said in a patronizing voice" synonyms: treat condescendingly, condescend to, look down on, talk down to, put down, treat like a child, treat with disdain.

I don't look down on fellow parents or treat them with disdain (nor do I consider myself superior). If anything, I think the notion people hold that WOMEN IN PARTICULAR cannot be effective or even exceptional parents AND entrepreneurs is patronizing.

Even more so, the suggestion that they are unworthy of the support provided to other entrepreneurs by virtue of said parenthood is patronizing. So I believe your [insert adjective of choice] response is misdirected.

If you are not offended by my comments, your choice of words and the tone of your response suggests otherwise.

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