So then, for women, it is the above, plus this delicate balancing act: Make sure to marry a man who earns enough so that the combined household income is $125k+, while not caring much about his wealth.
Our total wedding expenses weren't quite that low -- 200+ people came in at around $4k, including brunch (it was a mid-morning wedding,) a dress hand-made by the mother of the bride, and rental of a horse-drawn Amish buggy from the farmer next door to the church.
Of course, both "lots of people at the wedding" and "spend little money" signify something -- lots of people signifies a lot of social support, and friends and family who think this is a good idea; spending little money is an indicator that the important part is the life you're making together, without too much emphasis on the initial celebration. (I have read studies to this effect, though it's been a long time and I couldn't now tell you where they were published.)
My wife and I have close ties to our community, and lots of close friends, and my wife's family is large and tightly knit.
Anyway, a big reason our costs ended up so low was because of the size of the wedding. People donated food, services, time, equipment and everything else. If we simply paid for it all, it probably would have cost closer to an average American wedding.
With gifts, we ended up making money on the wedding. Not much, but enough to start our younger selves off nicely.