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Comment by 6d0debc071 | Hacker News Reader

> I think one can be both respectful and charming without having to fall back on a script and cheapen the interaction.

Sure, one can be. But what about with people you find incredibly boring or distasteful? Usually we'd just choose not to interact with those people, but that's not being charming.

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I would say you should hold off your judgement of value a bit. That is the charming part, to give a chance to people to interest you. Maybe they will too find it boring or distasteful and you will have a chance to be charming giving incentive to they chase their dreams. Or recognize that if they find what they do interesting, that is enough. There is no reason to judge how they experience their job. It is not like it is common to meet a dictator or something.

I agree with your parent comment, where a script that includes a fake reaction cheapens the interaction. Be open to diversity is a more honest way to be charming.

EDIT: 6d0debc071, for some reason I can't reply once more. But my answer is very much in the line of mbech last comment here. Use something that doesn't involve deception. A question rather than an affirmation.

Or recognize that if they find what they do interesting, that is enough.

Exactly. I'd have few issues if the original author had used a canned response like "Oh, do you enjoy it?" or anything that didn't involve deception.

> There is no reason to judge how they experience their job.

I wasn't saying that you should, indeed some of the most boring people I know find themselves endlessly interesting. The scenario I'm suggesting is closer to: You give people a chance to interest you, your interests don't align with theirs - now what?

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