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Comment by kchoudhu | Hacker News Reader

At some point, after basic needs are met, every working person is forced to answer the following question with respect to the toll work takes on his or her family: is it worth it?

It takes courage to say "no" and make a clean cut. Kudos to this gentleman for doing what his family needs him to do.

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I recently confronted a similar situation (though the stakes were vastly smaller when viewed externally). I am moving from being a full time employee to a contractor where I can control my hours and spend time with my children as they grow up. At least that's the plan!

I've always been of the opinion that once you have X dollars (for some definition of X, which fluctuates), time is worth far more than money. This opinion has only been reinforced by the arrival of my children.

(I do recognize how lucky I am that I have a choice.)

To me that X is the amount needed to just survive, maybe a little more. Right now I'm working far more that I'd like, that is, making far more money than I need, since I'm far from being a big spender but I love having time for studying or for long walks at the beach (my most expensive vice is in fact studying, which is far cheaper in my country than in the US). It sucks that in practice there's no way to work less than 40 hours a week, and less than 11 months a year, save for being unemployed (for quite a few reasons, becoming a freelance would not improve that for me).

Right now, with my savings, I could expend 2 or 3 years without working, but there is an implicit blackmail (companies don't hire you if you have been unemployed for too long) that prevents me from taking a long sabbatical.

However, like you, I still recognize that I'm lucky. Some people don't have the option of having even a month without a job.

My X varied wildly over time, but definitely has grown since I got married, bought a house, had a family, etc.

I'm not sure what your career is, but that's a real bummer that the 40 hour a week grind is your only choice. Maybe a different career would be a better fit?

Do companies really discriminate if you've been unemployed for a few years, even with good reason? I've never heard of that before, and would be interested in knowing how common it is.

Yes many of them do discriminate against those that are unemployed whether it be forced or on purpose. I took a 11 month sabbatical a few years ago and there were many interviewers that just wouldn't believe that I purposefully stopped working. I kept my college habits after gaining my first 'career' position which allowed me to save up a bunch of money. Working in horrible environments and extremely stressful jobs caused a bad personal situation (where questions way beyond burnout such as "why am I even bothering at all" started to be common every day) that I just had to get away. I spent a small portion of the saved up money to do "nothing." Looking back I should have done more things with my time but, as always, I can't go back and change it.

Sometimes certain people just need a real break. I think 2 weeks of vacation is complete bullshit and the main reason why so many Americans are miserable, and misery loves company. So many people live day-to-day, week-to-week that they just can't even imagine those of us that are responsible with our money and savings. In the end, I honestly believe they were just jealous they would never be in a position where they could just walk away from everything. It sucks, but I found a job after it and I was 100% honest with everyone when asked why I took the time off. I had nothing to hide. It took a week and a day of full time searching/interviewing to find a position with a decent company on the way up even during the recent recession. I'm glad those interviewers "cut" me from their list of potential hires because I wouldn't want to work with people like that anyway. I still want to be my own boss, but I'm not there yet.

> "even with good reason?"

Some do, but even the ones that do not have no way of knowing if your reasons are "good". "I traveled the world to discover myself" can mean "I actually traveled the world" or "I'm unhireable and trying to plug gaps in my resume in hard-to-verify ways".

Was applying recently in the SF bay area, unemployed with a one year gap in my resume. Got an interview with > 75% of my applications. No one really questioned why I wasn't working, or seemed put off by it. I was travelling, but I could just as easily have been ill, pregnant, in jail, etc.

Congrats mate!

Thanks. The more I thought about the choice the easier it became.

> every working person is forced to answer the following question with respect to the toll work takes on his or her family: is it worth it?

Really? You are just brainwashed into the 'cult of family' .

What exactly is this comment supposed to mean? I'm reading a severe level of disdain for valuing one's family, and I strongly disagree with that, but I don't want to get into that discussion if that's not how you meant that comment.

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