Here's a really simple guide to getting past customer retention:
1) Be courteous. There is no better way to get mired down in customer retention hell than to give the rep a reason to run you around.
2) Feel free to share your reasons (briefly), but be clear (politely!) that your mind won't be changed. "I need to see for myself" is always a good way to dismiss the rep's reasoning.
3) In the off chance that you get a rep like the one featured here, simply hang up and call back in a few minutes. There's absolutely no reason to invest this much frustration in a company like Comcast.
I've only had one or two cases where I simply hung up on an overzealous rep. In all other cases, the process consisted of answering two or three questions, then I was on to cancellation.
It's not my job to play along with their script and help them raise revenue. It's their job to cancel service, no questions asked.
* Who you are
* Where you are receiving service
* Your account number
* What date this cancellation is effective on
If you have any equipment to return add that too, and tell them you will be returning it to the store (you might even mail it if it's just a card).
A properly written letter is really effective, and makes great evidence in court if things go wrong and the company fails to honor their side of the bargain. Been there, done that, and won.
That would be an interesting write-up to read about.
I have to say I canceled Comcast for a few months between houses my experience was pretty painless, I called in and they in-fact even sent pre-paid shipping boxes to return my modem and cable box.
Heck considering the profile this call is getting I'm guessing their "retention specialists" are going to be pretty light touch for a while.