"I've recently discovered God, and decided to disconnect from the Internet, as it is the tool of Satan. Tell me, have you accepted Jesus Christ as your savior?"

>Their job is to lie to you, your job has to be to lie right back.

I usually use some variation on "I'm moving in with my girlfriend, and she already has <type of service I'm cancelling>"

Alternatively, call, say you want to cancel, and if they give you shit just claim firmly you are unhappy with the service representative and hang up. With any luck they were recorded / reviewed. Just move on to the next guy.

Of course, usually these numbers are paid, so you pay a small fortune just to get to call someone that will do his job.

>"I'm moving to (insert name of city owned by competitor)"

Unfortunately, that's becoming harder and harder to do...

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comcast-Time_Warner_Cable_mer...

Very true. I truthfully told Sprint I was moving to Ireland and they let me cancel with no ETF.