The language of AA and other programs like them have failure as a built-in premise of attendance. Just by insisting on abstinence assumes that failure is the only possible outcome of non-abstinence, however moderated or controlled that non-abstinence is.

First and foremost obviously one has to clear themselves of physical addiction, which in most cases should be done with professional medical guidance. Afterwards comes the psychological compulsion to use. For me the best thing was to think rationally about the decision to use, and whether it was going to give me the benefit I sought. In most cases, having a drink doesn't help with the situations in which I wanted it, except for very short-term (hour or two); clearly not a long term solution to problems like anxiety, social awkwardness, depression. I think rational positive thinking like this can be made habitual with practice. Having group support from something like A.A can be beneficial in the early days of this process.

The issue with abstinence based programs is that they don't treat the underlying cause of the problem. Their focus is purely on a singular behavior which the problem led to. People in them are terrified of a single drink because it represents failure, but they don't identify what that single drink really means to them psychologically and how to address that problem in a rational way.

I know people who have benefited from AA, but their attitudes generally seem to be "don't throw the baby out with the bathwater." They take out the positives and ignore the negatives.

There are alternatives to A.A. however, for example SMART: http://www.smartrecovery.org/