"I have learned the art of being incredibly outgoing and a veritable chatterbox when need be."
How did you learn ?
How did you learn ?
The best advice I can give is to look at how more naturally outgoing people communicate, and then emulate it. Ask lots of questions to get people talking about themselves. Make lots of eye-contact to encourage people and convince them that you care about what they're saying. Reply showing you're listening. Share random stuff about yourself in breaks of conversation (doesn't matter what it is really, anything personal you share also builds rapport).
You don't have to be the star of the party, but being an engaging convserationalist will help you to make excellent connections with people. The more you talk to people, the more you'll learn. If you share the things you learn with similar people, they'll get the impression that you're a social hub, and want to share more with you (because you have more to share with them). It snowballs pretty quickly.
This coming from an out-and-out introvert who has learned when to flip the switch. I was on a 10-day business trip with ~20 people recently, and towards the end confided to one of my new friends that the whole thing, while excellent, was pretty taxing on me due to my introversion. He was so shocked, he looked like I'd slapped him! Pretty funny :D
Edit: This probably goes without saying, but if you do the above, make sure you factor in downtime. Introverts playing extroverts is a very tiring game, you will probably need a day or two every now and then with next-to no interaction to recover.
A lot of things make for being outgoing. In my case, I realized very early on that people hate making plans and organizing shit. I on the other hand, can suck it up and do it. This plays in my favor in that I get to meet a lot of people (friends bring friends) within my comfort zone. Also, host parties.
On the talking thing, for me, I used to overthink conversations. I still do on occasion. However, one thing that helped a lot was improv. When you realize the power of random statements that build on top of each other and create something amazing, you chill the fuck out and realize that the first thing you say doesn't matter that much. And also build a tough skin; because for every person who was OK with you as a quiet mouse, there will be someone else who absolutely detests you now that you have an opinion. Fuck em. Your job in life is to figure out the amazing beautiful people who you can have an amazing connection with.
I am about as introverted as they come. However, with practice, I normally find I can become pretty good at things, so I've been working the last two years on being more outgoing and social.
My problem is that people flake all the time nowadays. I don't mind planning events and inviting people, but they all flake at the last second and it's really quite annoying. At first, I thought maybe it was me, but then I realized everyone does it to everyone else. I don't dread social the interactions; I dread the inevitable flaking that everyone's going to do at the last second.
So... my strategy recently is just ditching friends that flake and finding new ones. I'm not sure if this is the best idea though because I'm going through a lot of them quickly.
EDIT: A note: There are a couple folks that I've effectively ditched. I no longer take their schedules into consideration because they were such a PITA. Folks: If people invite you to things every week because you tell them you want to be invited, and you never show, don't feel hurt when they stop considering your schedule. Pouty friends are annoying friends. Annoying friends cease to be friends.
Most clubs will have a social aspect and might gather for drinks afterwards. It makes a good way to practice smalltalk and keep in touch on a regular basis. There's usually a mix of people... some will be struggling with shyness and fear of speaking, others may be naturals and make good people to study for technique.
I've fallen out of regular attendance lately, but I'd highly recommend Toastmasters.