The future of news is halfway between stratfor and private eye magazine. It should be written from an "out-universe" perspective, unlike the "in-universe" perspective of all current journalism, ie. it should treat the upper two or three layers of PR and realpolitik that cover every aspect of modern life as fictional, and skip straight to the real reasons for things: "control over regional energy markets", "elections in 2 years," "these two celebrities are both managed by the same agency and so they are having a fight to boost sales of celebrity A's new book" and so on.

Also it would ignore the news cycle.