> Which does nothing to improve the core problems with your workflow :)

Not sure what you mean. I state above how it helps my workflow.

> Offloading tests to 3rd party will not help you ensure that tests run fast as they should.

That's not the main point of CI. The main point is both: as a sanity check for tests pushed to the remote and also to not waste your time and CPUs running tests locally.

> Working too long on your branch will only make mergers more painful later.

I easily rebase off of master on a daily basis with git, no issues there.