Thanks for the links.
A question - Do you think (or have any information) on if this is particularly worse in tech, than in other industries?
A question - Do you think (or have any information) on if this is particularly worse in tech, than in other industries?
We're in tech. This is our home. Let's clean it up.
1. Male-dominated environment, women are a significant minority.
2. Inexcusable tolerance of sexist behavior - not calling it out when we see it.
3. "Why are you blaming me? I'm not one of those guys. Men might listen to you if you'd just stop the blanket accusations." (extra credit: count how many comments on this thread can be reduced to that sentiment.)
1. More men than women
2. Male harrasers feel safe to harass women
3. Women do not feel welcome
4. Women leave
5. Goto 1
Or:
1. Harassers target women in ways that are deniable and/or less visible
2. Well meaning men assume that if they if don't see it, it must not be happening very often
3. Women get tired of having their personal experiences questioned, denied, dismissed, and belittled
4. Women stay silent, or leave
5. The impression among bystander men that this must not happen that often is strengthened, emboldening harassers
6. Goto 1
Etc.
Given that, it is entirely fair to say to non-harrasser men that if they are not actively part of the solution, they are still pàrt if the problem.
This is why your attitude is actively hurting you. It's driving away people like me, who actually agree with the basic premise that women should be treated equally.
The thing is, you can't expect a cookie for not doing terrible things. Not doing terrible things is the absolute minimum that is expected of you as an adult member of society. Only doing the bare minimum doesn't make you a good person or a bad one, but it shouldn't really be surprising that the great majority of people who are merely not doing terrible things have an inertia that keeps things from improving, and are thus part of the problem.
And wouldn't that imply the solution is to stop doing what you're doing?
So in essence, didn't you just admonish yourself?
What I said is that after getting blamed constantly for no other reason than being born with a cock I've stopped caring what the people doing the blaming think.
Another way to look at it is like this:
Men are not stupid. They know if they've been sexist or not. When you blame them for shit they know they are not involved in, it means they cannot trust you when you blame other men for shit they didn't witness.
Being part of the problem, or more precisely, part of a problematic system) does not mean that the problem is your fault, or that you have a duty to fix it.
Congratulations, you have met your basic societal obligations. You are off the hook. You are free to look the other way rather than confront or condemn sexism when you encounter it, in person or online.
Take off the blinders - there're a lot more issues in the world than this one. Lots of people just don't have the emotional energy to invest in all of them, or even in very many of them.