can you link to your questions? I have had universally good responses to my questions, and have never seen the behaviour you are describing.
Joel has spilled much ink on how SO is not a site for free form discussion. Discourse was created for that.
Some frustration may occur when one realizes that certain kinds of problems or exploration are best suited to free-form discussion - those discussions need to happen on channels other than SO then.
* edit - corrected Discourse attribution.