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Check out SpaceChem for a great programmer-friendly but-not-explicitly-about-programming game.

Plus one for a game that scratches the programming itch.

However, for relaxation, I tend to favor MMOs. They are the right mix of social, achievement orientated, and simple to fill downtime.

Minus one for suggesting a game that will keep you up hours just to optimize a few cycles out of the program.

SpaceChem is an incredible game but it's as dangerous as "one more turn" of Civilization.