> his kids' school is free or very cheap;
You don't really care when you are single and don't have kids. And usually people get married relatively late nowadays, especially the ones with higher education. And primary school does not cost that much anyway, it's more when it comes to secondary, junior high that it starts getting costly. So, MEH.
> * he has top-level health insurance, and he knows there's a 0% chance he'll ever lose it; he hasn't got a clue what "preexisting condition" might even mean;
Top Level insurance ! That's what french people say without stepping out of their country. There are numerous countries where you get private insurance AND better service than in France. Top-Level insurance in france gets you in a free public hospital where you may very well catch infections that will end up killing you. There's like hundred of thousands people per year in France dying of infections they contracted in top level hospitals. So please put in pinch of salt in your statement.
> * he lives in a place safe enough that there's no sense in paying to live in a gated community
Oh my GOD. France is nowhere near safe as so many other countries around it. You must live in Neuilly or something, but I tell you, when you live in suburbs you are nowhere near safe for you and your possessions.
> * he's got decent unemployment insurance
Based on growing country's public debt, so I'd say it's not really sustainable in the long term, but hey, Keynesians say it's OK never to repay the debt, so I must be wrong.
> * his retirement is funded;
Funded by debt. French govenrment borrows billions of euros every month on the private markets to keep functioning and paying for such benefits. And actually, it's not funded, because you are currently paying for the current retirees, not for your own retirement. If the demography should fail and the government go bankrupt, your retirement money is up in the air.
So, I'd say your vision of things is incredibly biased, and I'm not sure how much experience you have abroad. I've live in 4 different countries outside of France and I've nowhere felt that France had such a better system than all the others. And most french people who left the country actually never come back.