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Can you even autoplay HTML5 video on a page in, say, the platform I'm posting from, iOS 7?

No.

And those with bandwidth caps are doubly grateful for that. Once for not being opted into wasting bandwidth, and again for the smaller file size if they choose to use it.

Or more likely you get a gif to avoid degradation, and you spend 10x as much bandwidth.

The browser/tab/page should ask for permission to play video/audio, just like Chrome for mobile already does for other services (i.e. location)

Nope, has to be triggered by a user action (like a tap), and can only play full screen. Also, if you loop a video, the control bars flash up then fade away each time it loops.

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