Pakistan is not really one of the most paranoid and aggressive in the world. And that is coming from an Indian here. It is much more civilized than many nations and has much of the institutions that make a modern nation. Just that the military and religious extremism( which incidentally was helped along the way by a desperate general who wanted to hold on to power) has destroyed the idea of the state.
The longstanding conflict with us, is fueled by the United States, who in their quest to have an ally in the region against perceived Russian expansion to the Persian Gulf supported successive military regimes against a presumed 'communist' but democratic India. The United States, replaced a reformist and yes a repressive government, with the most regressive government anywhere in the world in Afghanistan in 1991. And didn't care about it till 9/11. The hindsight of history tells us that maybe communist totalitarianism is what the country needed to break hundreds of years of warlordism.
Maybe what US does on the whole balances out their excesses here. Maybe stopping the spread of communism and totalitarianism required this. But looking at it at a theatre level, US policy in the region has been short sighted and should have been directed at promoting democracy in Pakistan. Not in helping the military. Along with being short sighted it has also been hypocritical. And that is what makes it sad.