Comment by dpcan | Hacker News Reader

Comment by dpcan | Hacker News Reader

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I've reached a similar conclusion lately in dealing with burnout. I'm trying to figure out who I really want to be, rather than what I thought I was supposed to be.

It wasn't so much movies,books,etc, but as a 34 yr-old ex-computer geek of the 90's, I'm dealing with my own "expectations" complex.

I spent day and night back then on computers, building them, fixing them, coding, fixing them at schools, local businesses, for parents, friends, friends of my parents, etc, and I heard over and over and over again that I was "a genius" or "the next Bill Gates" and so on.

Well, turns out I'm not "the next Bill Gates". But I sure have spent the last 10 years trying to figure out how to live up to those high expectations.

As a result, I've become relatively successful in my business, but I'm always combating burnout as I wonder if what I'm doing is really what I should actually be doing with my life - or if this is just a response to all the praise I had as a teenager because I had that natural knack for computers back in the day when people still thought CD-ROMs were cup holders (joke).

I'm sure I'm not alone in this HN crowd. Many of you in your 30's must have had a similar experience. At least I know my own friends back then did.

And yes, I do feel that need to be "recognized" for some reason. Why the heck is that?

"Well, turns out I'm not "the next Bill Gates". But I sure have spent the last 10 years trying to figure out how to live up to those high expectations."

Last year, I had to come to grips with the fact that I'll never be a Beatle. ;)

When you go to heaven, and St. Peter asks you what have you done with your life. You don't get past the judgement by saying, I'm sorry I didn't get to be the next Steve Jobs, the next Bill Gates, the next Elon Musk.

You'll get asked why didn't you become the best you possible.

You're not alone. I'm in my 30s and daydream about having a post on the frontpage of HN with everyone "recognizing" how awesome my projects/thoughts are. How can anyone be satisfied with mediocrity?

It's not hard to get stuff on the front page. Make a reasonably nice project, get a designer friend to do a landing page. Then let 10 of your friends know beforehand, get a commitment for upvotes.

Post it, get your friends to upvote it (DO NOT send them a direct link, the HN spam system picks that up, they need to find it themselves on the new page).

This will buy you maybe like 30 minutes on the frontpage, from there something lame will drop, something decent will stick for a few hours, and something more awesome/controversial can stay all day.

I've been directly involved in like 3 of these (as landing page designer), and an "upvoting friend" in maybe about 10. YC companies do this (I was surprised at first, I thought they got a magic orange YC upvote button).

Extra Credit: A "midbrow dismissal" in the comments that is then debunked in a condescending/clever response can be helpful.

I don't think satisfaction from being recognized will be achieved through coercing the system. I think what we want is a genuine pat on the back from the community and a natural rise to the top based on our accomplishment alone.

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