Especially when you factor in that as an immigrant I had to leave America 3 times, once because I was diagnosed with cancer, and haven't legally been able to take salary from my own company in 2 years.
The best thing about startups is you don't need YC to make it happen. You need to work on something you and others find valuable that you're willing to work your ass off for.
Maybe others get in on their first try, and are clearly more able, capable, or validated than me, but that's not really how I gauge why I do things. Neither is getting rejected.
I'm the first to admit that I'm not nearly the smartest person to ever apply to YC. Hell I'm probably one of the dumbest. But there's no reason not to apply. The only downside is getting the rejection letter (and the free mixpanel credits). The upside, at least so far in my experience, has been well worth it.
Try out 1000 of things, do a pivot, pitch investors here and there, apply YC every now and then. Nothing pathetic about that.