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Comment by Mistone | Hacker News Reader

a good point, I think it can work both ways, but my wife is a great sounding board and brings a unique / non techie point of view to the discussion which is extremely valuable.

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That's a good point too - my wife has zero understanding of the programming world and no desire to understand it at all. She's great for telling me when my ideas suck or when they might work.

Because of YCombinator's relocation requirement, I can't apply. I completely understand why they have that requirement and what's more - completely agree with it. Unfortunately, relocating is not an option for me as we have a 2 year old. Even though I live in Maine and Cambridge isn't that far away, it just wouldn't work.

My drive to found a startup is very strong - I'm not afraid of failure (god knows I'm good at it!) but I'm struggling with how to do start something up with a wife and a child. The whole micro-ISV, consulting thing is not something I want to do.

I know the conventional wisdom is "don't do it". But that's just not an acceptable answer for me.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I would absolutely appreciate it.

Do you have cofounders that can move, and you could visit alternate weeks or every weekend? If you have no cofounders AND you cannot move, that's two strikes.

I have a cofounder who'd be willing to move, yes. And I supposed I could alternate, but based on the relocation requirement, I didn't think that was an option.

I meant two co-founders who would relocate, i.e. 3 founders total including yourself. Otherwise, what would your single co-founder do all by himself/herself? The primary reason for requiring the move is to be able to work together at hyper speed.

Of course, I'm simply postulating...am neither a decision maker nor an influencer ;-)

Get a sizable investment from friends/family/VCs or very painfully build your startup on the side nights/weekends.

There doesn't seem to be any other options. I don't think the consulting option is any better than working full-time for someone else.

I think getting a sizable investment is the way to go (unfortunately). I've tried the nights/weekends thing and it just doesn't work because startups seem to really require a long, dedicated burst of attention and energy, something you can't do on the side.

Thanks for your reply - I appreciate it.

Apply anyways. If you get accepted, relocate for the three months. That time away will be well spent getting your product to a presentable point.

Heh - I'm taking that advice myself, and I live in Switzerland!

Well - I took your advice aglarond and applied anyway. :)

I have a wife and two small children. I have also successfully started a business using only "sweat capital" and know the stress it can put on a marriage. So I might qualify to give you some advice. I am also starting another company and willing to move to Cambridge.

I am fortunate to have a wife who is very supportive and sees the payoff of me staring a new venture. If I win, she wins. Also, I plan to move the wife and kids to Cambridge for the summer. They view it as an "extend vacation". Well, a vacation with no money, but at least it is new scenery (new playgrounds are always exciting for kids!).

I don't think the "don't do it" wisdom is always applicable. It wasn't in my case. As long as you make some time for your family and kids, and as long as they know the situation is pseudo-temporary, it can work.

Besides, being miserable at your current job is probably just as a negative on your wife and kids as a start up. It is hard to come home and be a good husband/father when you are bored/frustrated all day.

Great points! I could have written your same post. I've started a company before and am willing to move my wife and two kids to Cambridge for this. In addition however, my wife is co-founder of my start-up so she's completely on board ;-)

Either way, we're going to build our company. It would be nice to get a three month kick start though instead of having to work around my day job.

Building the company around my day job will actually be tougher on the family but we'll still be better off in the long run. A job for someone with a family isn't all it's cracked up to be. It isn't flexible. I have a long commute. I have fixed pay that doesn't really reflect my time and effort. Stability isn't everything and it isn't what makes a person or a family happy.

There are other ways to take risks with a family. There are extended families etc. Taking risk with a family isn't wrong, it's just something you should think through.

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