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Canada isn't a British colony now so it's doubtful the redcoats would burn the White House this time.

Redcoats no, Canadians yes.

* Canuckistanians

ooooo the Canadians are coming. What ever shall we do?

But the Queen's Guard is dependent on the Canadians for the bear skins they need to make those giant grenadier hats. If we invade Canada and put that vital commodity in jeopardy, the regiment may attack the White House in the name of outrageous fashion (also because those hats insult the French, every time they wear them, so it's a 2fer).

If you marched on Montreal, we'd let you have it.

Next time it might be a good idea to not spare the Patent Office...

I'm genuinely unable to tell if you are being sarcastic or not.