[0] - https://whispersystems.org/
[1] - https://telegram.org/
XMPP is _the_ standard, with just so many[0] implementations. On mobile, a good choice is ChatSecure, or Yaxim if you're on Android.
> that lots of people use
XMPP certainly doesn't meet this criteria, it would have to be IRC... but that's yet another way of modelling your social interactions.
The problem with XMPP (or any IM protocol for that matter) is that if nobody uses it, there will be little technical progress, which means few people will use it, etc...
This is not comparable to the normal performance of SMS or iMessages.
I don't see the need for absolutely open hardware for an alternative messaging system. Sure, they aren't FLOSS solutions, but they are much less closed than iMessage and are cross-platform.
Note: Hangouts is an abomination.
I'm not 100% clear on this: why can't there be an open mobile OS that runs on (bootrom-exploited) iOS devices?
Sure, you can use proprietary hardware (iPhone) and try to make it run different software, but your luck getting around their protection systems may vary (and it may or may not be illegal, depending on how much you care).
Hell, it can be difficult to get an unsupported version of Android to work without major bugs on an Android phone.
They had to rewrite the drivers, of course.