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In 1984, Orwell called it the "Ministry of Love":

"The Ministry of Love serves as Oceania's interior ministry. It enforces loyalty and love of Big Brother through fear, a repressive apparatus, and brainwashing. ... It is arguably the most powerful ministry, controlling the will of the population. The Thought Police is part of Miniluv."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ministry_of_Love

United Stated Office of Unspecified Services (U.S.O.U.S.) would be my first pick.

Office of Unusual Size? I don't think that exists.

It does in swamps. Isn't DC built on one?

A possible new business model for the USPS.

All sarcasm aside, this is really an important win. The purpose of law enforcement is not to enforce laws, it is to preserve disorder. I'm not saying that is their mission, but it does clear a big talking point out of the way for real change.

edit: misspelling.

After a moment of consideration I wondered how "investigation", which thought of as "gathering evidence", came to mean "enforcement".

And now that I say it out, I clearly see the surveillance around here.