Hacker News Reader

Comment by danielflopes | Hacker News Reader

I consider myself to have a good life. I'm not always in the office working, and I actually spend a lot of time working out and taking care of my best friends and meeting new people.

I only try to minimize doing what in nothing contributes to my life or the others around me. That's why, for example, I like to read books that in someway intersect what I do in my job. But that doesn't mean that I never try new stuff and read a good one like "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance".

And for me, the best way to not "waste time" is by trying to merge your job with what you want with your life, since we already spend so much time on it.

I do not have kids. I've recently started a relationship, and I admit that I've been asking myself what's the best way to balance these. I get your point.

View on HN

Daniel, you seem as though you have good intentions, but allow me to give a word of advice - feel free to take it or leave it.

You say you just got in a relationship. If you want it to work - choose the relationship more than you choose work. I know from experience, because I used to have a similar mentality. It goes something like this:

If I want to have the most fulfilling life possible, I should make "progress" every day. I feel as though I have the capability and drive to be the best, so I have the responsibility to be the best. If I'm not working, there is someone else out there who is working, and that means I'm "wasting time". Relaxing = being lazy.

Those people who just socialize and play video games? How can they not see how much time they are wasting on a meaningless life! Everyone should spend their time doing things that are "productive" to better their skillset. Otherwise, they are lazy and unmotivated.

Simply put- this is being a workaholic. Through college, I was the same way, and it cost me a lot of missed opportunities. The most dangerous workaholic is one who thinks that it's healthy and good for them.

Don't get me wrong - be motivated, enjoy what you do, etc. But have balance. I was fortunate enough to meet my (now wife) who showed me that it's ok to take a break. It's not "being unproductive" or "wasting time" - it's building a relationship. It's ok (and often necessary) to drop everything and spend time focused on making the relationship better.

In your post, you mentioned Mr. Walton. Let's briefly talk about him. While I don't know if the source is true (ref. needed), Consider this post [1] that talks about his last words: "I blew it". While it's my opinion, I strongly believe you can make a bigger impact in this world through the relationships you build as opposed to the work you do.

So, it's great that you're motivated and driven - it means you'll be good at whatever you do. But don't think poorly of those who do things differently, and put their efforts into different outlets. It doesn't mean they're somehow less productive of a person than you. In fact, I would recommend working to break away from the workaholic mentality. Just like forcing yourself to get a good night's sleep, it will be tough at first, and you will feel like your "being unproductive", but it will make your relationship - and your life - much better.

[1] http://upstart.bizjournals.com/resources/executive-forum/201...

With my blogpost, I didn't mean that you should put work before your family and friends (or at least didn't want to mean that). I didn't mean that playing a good videogame is a waste of time if that makes you feel better.

I try to always be aware when I'm not giving enough time to my family and friends (building relationships). Some times I do stuff like, taking a random trip to somewhere in the woods just to see what happens or what nature has to show me, without any goal in mind.

BUT, I do understand that you think that I don't do this. I understand why with this post I seem such a workaholic. (Maybe I am, but not as much I seem to look in this post.)

AND, even though I spend a good time with my family and friends, I'm not saying that I shouldn't spend more. Maybe I should. (I'm just thinking out loud.)

My point here is that we should strive to try to work on something that's aligned with our life goals - and those may include spending time with your family, traveling or building a charity institution. This way, work would have other meaning to us.

Thank you very much for the article and your thoughtful response.

Not having kids and only recently being in a relationship makes your life situation quite different from the majority of people out there. People only listen to advice that they can relate to.

Imagine a monk giving sex advice ;-P

Ahaha Good example to make your point.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com