It's interesting that your experience is so different from mine (I work at Netflix now).

for #1, I've never heard of someone being let go without having any idea. When a manager goes to HR and says "I'd like to let this person go", they ask, "will it be a surprise?" and if the answer is yes, they send you back to have the hard conversation first.

for #2, I have lots of friends from Netflix. And some of them have even been let go and we're still friends. I was even friends with my boss, but like any company, when it is a relationship with a manager it must always be reserved.