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I'll tell you what, God is the ultimate programmer.

Let me guess, was the universe written in javascript?

Well, that's what we tell everybody, but it's really just a bunch of Perl scripts running on an old Sun box hidden in the janitor's closet.

This is a reference to this XKCD comic: http://xkcd.com/224/

If I believed in a god, I'd have trouble deciding which news would be more unbearable: finding out there is no god, or finding out that this god wrote the universe in Perl.

Obviously not: https://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/eternal-flame.ogg

Greg Chaitin wrote a LISP interpreter in FORTRAN.

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