The first thing you should do is essentially read her what you've typed here. It sounds like your relationship would benefit a great deal from some openness. She isn't going to react to this badly.

And in my experience with women, a little bit of time goes a long way if you do it right. Surprise her with flowers. Take her on a picnic. These things don't take much time but give her something to brag about to her lady friends.

You'd be surprised how just a few hours a week can convert a downward spiral relationship into a flourishing one.