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Comment by PhasmaFelis | Hacker News Reader

> CCFC director Susan Linn said “Babies thrive when they are talked to, played with and cuddled, not when they are alone with a screen.”

Let me guess. Two-parent household with enough money for regular day care, right?

I know a single mother who spends literally every single waking moment with her baby, not a moment to herself, and it's destroying her sanity. She needs electronic baby distracters just to get enough downtime to remain fit to care for her child. Fuck these sanctimonious pricks who think poor people don't count.

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As someone who really doesn't know, is it actually necessary to have an adult watching a baby every moment of its existence?

Just because you are not watching them, doesn't mean that they have to be glued to a screen. They could be exploring their environment or other things that engages their motor skills and other senses.

I wonder how many commenters here have children? A screen with moving images and sounds is absolutely hypnotic to a small child, and they will get stuck in front of it and sit staring for hours. When it is turned off, they will incessantly beg for it to be turned on, to the detriment of all other activities.

This. Given the choice of dealing with a world that is always shiny, bright, cheerful, smooth, clean, and instantly responsive and a world that is frustrating, demanding, ambiguous, unyielding etc an infant (and a helluva lot of adults) will remain transfixed by the screen to the detriment of their physical and mental development.

And does it have to be a single person, and its genitors?

Not every moment of it's existence, but a vast majority to be sure. Babies can't do anything for themselves. They are completely worthless and prone to self-injury and self-harm.

It doesn't have to be a single person or it's progenitors, but it does need to be someone who genuinely cares for the baby. When I was younger I remember my mother and father would often watch babies for other young mothers who needed time to relax. This seems like a good model, but our culture's irrational distrust of men invalidates half the pool of helpers and our growing disconnection from neighbors and other people jeopardizes the rest.

I'm sure you meant "helpless" and not "worthless"?

Yes. Sorry, that was meant to be a bit tongue-in-cheek, but that did not really come through here. Even the best parents I know have reached that point of exhausted frustration with their children at some time or another (myself included). I love 'em more than life itself, but they can be little life suckers sometimes.

Not every moment, and some babies are 'easier' than others. But the baby does need the 'social' contact for better development.

How is a poor person going to afford an iPad and accessories? Child behaviorists also advise limiting children's exposure to electronics, ESPECIALLY in the first two years. Sounds like you're advocating for poor people's children to treated more poorly than the "two parent household with enough money for regular day care."

I also don't see how the only options are "spend all your waking hours focused solely on your baby" or "abandon them to be raised by an electronics firm." Sounds like your friend just needs some "work life balance."

What about the child though? I guess he/she will just have to deal with any learning disabilities caused by overexposure to electronic stimuli later.

Almost everything we know scientifically about early childhood development validates Dr. Linn's statement.

I understand your friend's unenviable position. We (two-parent household) had three children within 4 years. We were just getting the first out of diapers when the last came along. We are intimately aware of how exhausting, stressful, and mind-melting the constant need of little ones can be. I imagine it is as difficult or worse for your friend doing it on her own.

Unfortunately that does not change the fact that we are social beings, and we learn through play and interaction with others (particularly our parents). Combine that with research that suggests that the first months of life establish a framework for how our brain will develop for the rest of our life and you can understand the concern about a carrier like this which seems to be entirely opposite what research has shown to be good for infants. Generally I dismiss "think of the children!" arguments without consideration, but in this case I think it is justified. What is our role as parents if not to nurture our children? We can not ignore the research because it is difficult for our situation.

Now, having said all of that, here is my problem with the so-called "revolt" mentioned in the article:

1. From the article:

However, it’s important to note that the seat can be used normally without an iPad.

2. If people really find it offensive, just don't buy it. If enough other people want to buy it so that the company continues to make money selling it, who are you to say that other people who want to buy it should not be allowed to? Instead of trying to strong-arm this company into withdrawing their product lets create the kind of society where this product is not profitable.

In fact, I would argue that the real problem is not the product, but that there is a market for it. I said at the beginning that I empathize with your friend, and I really do. She is stuck between a rock and a very hard place, and shamefully our society does not really have a good answer for her. Even though I think much of our cultural evolution in the last 50 years has been positive, we have to admit that not everything has gotten better. In particular we seem to have eroded many of the social nets to help people in situations like your friend. We need to make supporting parents a priority and find new, effective ways to help parents make ends meet without neglecting their children. Sane maternity leave and paternity leave are a good starting point. Reasonably priced, safe housing and jobs that pay a living wage for a 40-hour work week are some others. We need to seriously reconsider the kind of education system and teen culture we have created that leaves us with so many single parents (I am not intending to indict your friend: I do not know her situation). In particular we need to review how we and portray fatherhood in our entertainment and culture. We can not afford for so many men to abandon their responsibilities to their partners and children.

All in all we have a lot of work to do and a baby seat seems like a silly place to pick a fight.

I agree that electronic babysitters aren't the optimal way to raise a child, should one have a choice. Leaving your kid in front of a screen all day is certainly a bad idea.

What makes me incandescently angry are the people who think my friend and others like her should not be allowed to own this product, without offering any sort of alternative.

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