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Comment by KiwiCoder | Hacker News Reader

I tend to introversion, and networking in a room filled with people wears me out faster than just about anything else.

So, given that my social energy is limited, here's what I do:

* Have a concrete goal for each event, things like: small talk with 5 random people, elevator pitch to Jane, get contact details to follow up with Jim and Mo, etc.

* Step out of unproductive/negative chats asap - "excuse me, I need to make a call/ check email / catch Bob before he leaves"

* For longer events, take regular smoke breaks (even though I don't smoke)

* Leave (politely) as soon as goals are achieved or as soon as I'm worn out

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Working the smoking area is much easier than working the room. Best conversations of my life have been standing on a curb with another smoker. I quit about a year ago, but still use the ecig.

Not sure this would be as effective if I stood around puffing on a pencil. I don't know, I've never smoked except once when I was 11.

There are nicotine free e-cigs that basically emit flavored water vapor. Never tried one, but they do exist.

As an ex smoker I fully agree. I miss the fun l had during the smoke breaks with other people. After I quit smoking however unfortunately l quit as well the habit to make these fun and efficient breaks.

Your point of exiting negative chats is a very good one. The instinct (for me, anyway) is to double down and try to fight it out, which is a waste of time for everyone involved.

A fairly big revelation for me was not to act so interested when I first enter a conversation. Two things happen when I appear interested before a word has been spoken. I look awkward, and if the conversation doesn't actually interest me I've just insulted everyone. They are insulted in the form of I apparently really wanted to talk to them and then didn't like them. Thus actual awkwardness occurs while I try and look interested in them.

It's better to enter a conversation with a degree of hesitation and then walk away if nothing pans out. It may not feel like it but they appreciate that. It can also form a bond if I like them as they might feel as though they won me over.

I second that, it is one thing to actively look to enter a conversation but one must be prepared to politely move one. Time is valuable and knowing when/how to exit is an important part of any effective strategy.

Possibly the most important part.

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