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This fails to explain by what logic would Twitter have to pay me/owe me for my tweets.

Are they selling my tweets? Are they asserting rights over what I've written? Maybe I've missed something, but there's no explanation.

It says it takes a minute to write a tweet so you would be paid to add that content hourly...

Ah. So this takes my no. of tweets, * (hourly/60) and feeds me back that number? Genius.

(Protip: if you estimate at 60$/h, it's 1$/tweet. You're welcome.)

Yeah, exactly. They owe me $79,168.00

I'll let them know I take credit cards.