I hear ya, loud and clear. Was it a medication that led to the bad patch? I've never had the street problem but definitely had a fear of being seen in public that led to lots of alone time.

Your point about trying to be positive strikes a chord also. Folks who know me just a bit or only professionally consider me a relentlessly cheerful, encouraging person. I've always got something great and positive to say about a situation, no matter how bleak it is. In part, this is because just about anything is better than what I feel inside, so I'm able to spot the positive pretty easily. Also, it's partly an effort to will a certain view of reality into being. Nothing's great until someone labels it such.

The folks who really, really get to know me tend to get worn out once I let down the shell and let them see a bit of what's going on inside. In dating relationships I try to ease the other person into understanding how I get by, but even so, there comes a point where they "get it" and you see how disappointed they are. I've found the best approach is to just tell her that I have dark periods when nothing I say will be useful or productive, so I'm not going to say much.