I can't agree more with you! As a matter of fact, someone famous said:
I think that object orientedness is almost as much of a hoax as Artificial Intelligence. I have yet to see an interesting piece of code that comes from these OO people.
This someone is Alexander Stepanov the author of the STL (the C++ Standard Library).
C++ is much more about generic programming.
> Algebraic datatypes and pattern matching have been around for years, and have clear advantages.
Try this keyword: "template".
> Parallel programming has been around for years, and is becoming CRITICAL for modern applications.
Whether this is the job of the language or the job of a library is debatable. Efficient parallel programming in C++ is done with the latter (Intel TBB for example).
> C++ has a RIDICULOUS amount of boiler plate.
Maybe. This is one of the philosophy of C++ is "don't pay for what you don't want".
> Headers shouldn’t exist in the language:
Yes, but as you said it will be addressed in C++ 14. You should appreciate that C++ has enablee the industry to move forward thanks to its support of C headers. This may be less obvious now, but 10 to 20 years ago this was really a big deal.
> The same problems that make highly-parallel code a nightmare in C++ also make it an unsuitable language for security-critical, or mission-critical projects.
You are naive if you think the weak link of security is the compiler. The problem is behind the keyboard and the chair. According to you, programs written in Java or .NET should be more secure. That's not the case.
Some of the most secure programs ever written are written in C which offers even less compile-time checks than C++.