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bolder88

Sometimes, children need to be screamed at. It's good for them.

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Assuming for the moment that you're correct: How often is acceptable?

How about every day for a child less than a year old?

How about more than four times a day for an eight year old?

How about more screaming than talking for a fourteen your old?

But I reject your statement. Children almost never need to be screamed at, and it is not good for them.

Let's phrase it this way. How often is it reasonable for a parent to raise their voice at a child? For example.

Child goes to touch sharp/hot/poisonous item

My likely response would be "Leave it alone" or something similar, in a considerably louder and more imperative voice than normal instruction. Why? Because the change in tone conveys importance, and the shock will institute an instant response from a child.

This is entirely separate from telling a child off for a misbehaviour already having occurred, which I agree rarely (if ever) should require "Screaming" as a method of conveying displeasure and attempting to prevent recurrence. Inevitably it will happen, because parents are human too and make errors of judgement and lack patience.

You reject his statement but then you say that children "almost never need...", so you accept that sometimes they might need?

I am lost.

Why is screaming almost intrinsically "bad"?

You are trying to quantize behaviour and, sorry, it cannot be done. Would you ask how many times it is good to kiss one's mother? One? Ten? One hundred? Every time the child leaves? Just once? Uhu?

Perhaps you've never been screamed at. Where by "screamed at" I mean "the recipient of uncontrolled, unfiltered, absolute maximum strength, irrational, untempered, terrifying rage." I don't believe that's ever appropriate.

If a child steps into the road without looking and is in imminent danger of being killed, I'd scream at them, as would any other sane parent.

As someone who worked in a school all of last year, I disagree too. I never screamed at any child, and I had fewer problems with discipline than the teachers that did.

For me it is better to explain why I am angry or disappointed with a child's behavior in private, and if I don't see a change then implement a punishment like missing recess, changing seats, or sending the child to talk to a counselor/principal. I worked with younger kids, so these were pretty effective punishments.

If you resort to screaming right away, the child won't open up to you about problems at home, problems with teasing, etc. that are important to understanding why they might be acting out. If the child trusts and likes you, they'll try harder to behave for you... it's really not very different than an adult relationship.

Mmm, if it's not acceptable to scream at an adult, it's not any better to scream at a child.

There is such a thing as justified anger. I wouldn't use the word "scream", but I would raise my voice at adults under certain circumstances.

OK, so I don't quite have kids yet but I would tend to disagree... it's possible to be firm without screaming. I mean what is screaming, basically? It's expressing frustration or anger by "me-me-me"-ing your environment: blocking out what anyone else might be saying or doing, potentially while demanding them to behave how you wish them to. Not so different to a politican or an Oprah argument, really. Isn't that exactly the kind of antisocial habit that parents should be teaching children not to engage in?

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