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Comment by hfern | Hacker News Reader

> While I was attending SC '12 in Salt Lake City last November, my daughter emailed to tell me that the boys in her class were harassing her. "They told me to get in the kitchen and make them sandwiches," she said.

Even if you think the parent is overstepping their bounds here, I would rather a parent be too concerned as oppose to not being concerned at all. Double so that he is in the tech sector while we are facing the huge gender issue. If the teacher is not doing their job stopping the harassment and thereby enforcing the stereotype, then perhaps is should be spelled out.

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Kids say terrible things. This isn't the sign of a bad teacher or a worthy of a internet rant, it's an opportunity to prepare her kids (Not just the girls) for the real full-contact brutal reality known is the the real working world.

Oh.

Just curious, where's the line on this? Like, what things is she allowed to attempt to draw public attention to, and what things should she just counsel her daughter to learn to live with, and accept as a part of life?

How should a person know what sorts of circumstances belong on which side of that line? Are these written in a book somewhere that I missed?

I'm pretty sure the general consensus is that if you're female and you want to speak up about feeling belittled or harassed, the problem is in you, and we will gladly tell you that you need to stop bringing this subject up because we are so darn tired of hearing people like you try to bring us down.

If, however, you are male and you are feeling belittled or harassed, we're pretty interested in having a serious discussion about your experience. We may not agree with you and we may tell you that we don't think you should feel that way at all, but we won't tell you not to have the discussion.

If you're a woman, though? You're not allowed to have that discussion. Leave it to the menfolk.

Does that clear it up for you?

When does any male get an audience for whining? If anything there is a huge social stigma against men complaining about anything because of their "privilege."

While it's sexist, it's also a form of bullying. Bullying is generally punished in schools.

Sexist remarks are also punished in the workplace.

It is not "preparing kids for the real world" so much as it is "failing to respond to a situation in which a child is bullied."

> Bullying is generally punished in schools. Missing citation.

If you graduated from high school more than three to five years ago, you missed it, but there's been a huge uptick in formal efforts to end bullying in the United States, and especially California.

I can't really speak to efficacy, but a formal accusation of bullying is a big deal these days.

http://www.stopbullying.gov/

What kind of relationship do you have with your kid that she has to tell you important information like this via email? Does she have a dad? I am guessing NO? Honestly, just the fact that the OP is writing the letter after the class is over, rather then confronting the teacher during the class does not sound right to me at all.

How is the presence of a father relevant? The mother was away at a conference, possibly in a different time-zone or otherwise not contactable. Email seems perfectly reasonable to me.

> How is the presence of a father relevant?

If modern society has taught men anything, it is never relevant.

The girl does a lot to please her mother and chooses to communicate about important subjects over email.

Let's put it this way, I am not Dad yet, but when I am, my daughter or son will not be bullied in school because:

1. They would know how to deal with bullies. 2. And if they ever have problems dealing with it on their own, I am going to help them by doing something more then writing a letter on a tech blog.

And no matter what time of day or night it is, I would make sure that my children know they can CALL me any time they need to.

It is a long road between becoming a parent, and having a kid in high-school. Parenthood sometimes doesn't play out exactly how you thought it would.

It's not whether the author is going too far as a parent, but that that she is not handling the situation appropriately. She showed bad faith by not ever actually talking to the teacher. She sat and accumulated complaints about this class only to blast the teacher on the internet after the fact. That's not productive and it betrays intentions other than helping her daughter succeed.

She - the writer is a woman.

My mistake. I would edit it but I don't see an edit button.

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