This is a wonderful example of how not to do parody. The writing is essentially what a child might come up with. Here's a guideline for future writers who wish to replicate such an inane blog post:

  1. Take every element from the post you are parodying and go
     full retard.
  2. Don't bother including any subtlety; just be crass.
  3. Don't tie the points together into any sort of cohesive
     statement based on an overall theme.
  4. Whatever you do, do not structure your parody in such a way
     that demonstrates insight into the topic of discussion.

That last point is the really important thing if you want the weakest parody you can imagine. Just substitute each sentence with a dumbass version. Unleash your inner bully and taunt others by parroting back exactly what they say, only dumb down and twist the words to sound as stupid as possible. Under no circumstances should there be a "read between the lines" subtext.