My assertion is the problem stems from hacker types being more introspective (I hesitate to use the word "smarter") than your average person, which leads to the following realisation for most of us: We are not normal enough to enjoy a simple life of working 9-5 and partying on the weekends, but not brilliant or lucky enough to achieve the success we would like to attain.
Realising the above means deciding to "settle" for a life of drudgery or toiling forever with the prospect of ending up like a failed delusional "wannabe". Both thoughts being rather depressing as we essentially struggle with our unfulfilled ambition.
The thing is though, as I'm in my early 30s, now find that my friends have generally found other interests in their life to find pleasure in; rather than just being focused on career or success as a metric.
We find peace in being slightly above average, reaching mid-level management or senior technical positions, and enjoying the stable financial environment we are able to provide our partners/families.
Although the point is a bit after-school-special, but when you stop focusing on what you can/cannot do for yourself but what you can do for others, there can be tremendous fulfilment in that, which alleviates our otherwise depressive tendencies.