Particularly cringeworthy:
* "Your socks, your watch, your bike say so much about you" * "Play Goldilocks and choose the right size for you: 16 or 32 MB" Was Goldilocks really the best pick here--isn't this the male pitch, badger hair shaving brush, tortoise shell glasses and all? Didn't Goldilocks have three choices? * "you'll never miss those OMG-that-was-sick-did-you-see-that moments" Sick copy brah. * "Moto X responds to your voice, no touching necessary. (That's what she said.)" This doesn't even make sense as a joke.