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Comment by bjornsing | Hacker News Reader

Sorry, but I still think a plane ticket and a conference pass are two different things...

Maybe this is a bit of a culture clash (I'm Swedish) but my initial reaction is: This has an almost sexist undertone to it (what kind of a man would treat a woman like that - she's absolutely helpless and couldn't even comprehend why I was suddenly gone) and it feels rather unprofessional.

The only people who where treated really badly here as I see it where the (hundreds?) of people who payed for their passes, stood in line to collect them and expected to hear a talk that never came.

Sure you can be annoyed somebody treated your wife poorly, but the appropriate response is an email to the organizers after the event or similar. That's my 5 cents at least.

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I'd say it goes deeper than that, touching on the meaning of marriage. The speaker was put in the position where he had to choose between his spouse and a talk. He chose his wife, in accordance with his marriage vows. I can't see that it is sexist, as the logic doesn't change if the gender of any party is changed.

> The speaker was put in the position where he had to choose between his spouse and a talk.

My simple objection is that he could have had booth.

If you organise a conference, then arrange flights and accommodations for +1s be they independent adults, dependents of any kind, family dog, company director, servant or journalist, you better have options for that +1 that include allowing them access to the venue for the period that your invited speaker is expected to be there.

Something as simple as am "Invited Guest" pass, to indicate that this person is allowed to the coffee shop, merchandise store and toilets unaccompanied, is the least you can do. It doesn't matter who invited them, just give them the Amulet of Warding From Security Drones. Job done.

Then when arranging insurance for the event, make sure you account for expected people +30% to allow for "Invited Guests" brought along by the organisers, stage hands, support technicians, attendees and the CEO of the company running the show who decided on the spur of the moment to drag a retinue of golf friends around the event to show off.

It is not rocket surgery!

I disagree. I've been much more frequently the "+1" to my wife as she speaks to audiences, and I've been universally welcomed and made comfortable while she does her thing. If security ever escorted me out of the venue just for being there, I'd be willing to bet that you'd be able to hear her chewing the coordinator a new butt from the next county over.

If it were the other way around, with me being left outside, I'd be beside myself.

As I understood the sequence of events, the staff first separated the speaker from his wife. Then they told him that they could not accommodate her in the speakers' lounge, and that she'd have to wait outside the facility.

So from her perspective, there were some complications to be ironed out, and we'll get it taken care of. And then, suddenly, the door is slamming behind her as she's standing on the street, with no idea of what's happening to her spouse the speaker. Should she stand here and wait for him to come get her? How will we meet up after the event, if he doesn't come out?

The speaker, properly empathizing with his spouse over the way she must feel, chooses his commitment to her.

It's not a question of whether the person kicked out is likely to be murdered. It's a question of being made to feel powerless, with no clear course of action. Those are feelings that any human is likely to have, regardless of their gender.

While I can understand his concern about not being able to let her know, they are in America not some country in civil war. She should have been able to watch him but I am sure she could manage to find a Starbucks by herself.

> they are in America not some country in civil war

New Orleans currently has the highest murder rate in the US. It is the most dangerous place to be in the country, and it is more dangerous than many countries in civil war.

If his partner is trained in self defense and marksmanship, armed with a concealed carry, and willing, then it may be safe for her to wander about on her own. It is unlikely though they came with defensive arms since they just flew in from Bali.

That is some high-quality pearl clutching. I feel safer in the Ninth Ward than at a TechEd.

Conversely, when in New Orleans several years back for Halloween (2010), I was ~1 block away from a Marine who was stabbed while defending his wife from being accosted in the French Quarter:

http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2013/02/man_who_stabbed_...

You're a fool to go out alone after a certain hour in New Orleans, concealed carry or not.

I can't tell if you're being histrionic or just trolling, judging by your karma and HN community's usual intolerance for humor I'm guessing it's the former.

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