Until my current job almost all my open source work was in my volunteer free time as well. Whether his fellow contributors are coworkers, friends, or just strangers who happen to know how to program, the abuse isn't acceptable.
But I don't try to impose my standards, or any work place standard, upon others.
Why do you think there is any abuse?
If you see 2 guys in the street, one insulting the other one, how do you know there is any abuse?
Couldn't they be very good friends that have been talking to each other like that since years? In this case, is there any abuse?