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Comment by drinchev | Hacker News Reader

Not that I disagree with "It's just that I prefer being home.", but in my own experience, thinking what are the things that every human being should do, I get to a few points :

* reproduce in a healthy manner ( have healthy and well supported children )

* socialize with real people ( we got facial emotions and beautiful speaking capabilities that mammals use for this )

* sport ( the other way around is unhealthy, since your muscles can become useless and you can have big healthy issues if you don't do that )

Of course that's not a complete list.

If you are afraid of doing some of those things ( not that I don't feel that I prefer to stay at home sometimes ), I think that you should consider reading some motivational books about that or change stuff in your life that suits you and make you happy. You don't solve your problems without a fight, that's just the way we live in this e-society.

I'm sorry if my comment sounds harsh.

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I don't know about harsh, and I hope you don't meant to come across like this, but the idea that I should have children, and that if I don't want to that there's a problem; that there's something wrong with me; is deeply threatening. It's an ideology with real world consequences too - When I was 20 doctors refused to give me an IUD using very similar reasoning, despite hormonal contraceptives turning me into a totally crazy bitch.

I know other women with very similar stories too. Being the potential fixee for someone's idea that people need fixing, especially when society puts you in a position where you're vulnerable, is not fun.

This sounds almost like I'm having a go at you, which isn't how I want it to come across. I'm reasonably sure that it was well meant advice. But when you start prescribing life choices to people, rather than just talking about things that might happen, it can result in a vastly more aggressive tone than you might have meant there to be.

I would disagree with items 1, 2, and 3 on your list. Here's my list of things everyone should do:

- Pursue your personal goals with strength and conviction

- Find out what social environment makes you happy (It's ok if it's none) and find a way to build it

- Stay healthy in body and mind in a way that is enjoyable or at least tolerable for you

Jerry Seinfeld in an interview a week or two ago described the process of finding an adult life as a process of finding a torture that you're comfortable with. You find a level of health that keeps the pains down to a tolerable level, and you suffer through the amount of exercise and refuse to eat things that you want to eat enough times that you need to keep you at that level of chronic pain. You make these calculations with all opposing tortures in your life.

Eventually you're living in a finely tuned pain minimizing environment, and if you have any energy left, you can get things done.

> Eventually you're living in a finely tuned pain minimizing environment, and if you have any energy left, you can get things done.

That, sadly, sounds just about right in my case.

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