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Comment by pinaceae | Hacker News Reader

...and another one simply living single, with no outside responsibilities and lucky to be healthy, claiming this lifestyle as somehow superior (others complain!) but not realizing that there is nothing special about it.

nobody dependent on you? no kids, no employees, no sick parents?

you not dependent on anyone? no accidents, no clients not paying, no disease or disablement? living in a safe, rich, area of the world?

oh how awesome you are.

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He's not looking down on anyone or comparing himself with people who are disabled, he's looking at people who have the same responsibilites as him, but rather go for short term gratification than for creating their own freedom.

Growing up doesn't mean getting a job and saving money, but getting out there all by yourself and doing awesome shit. I wrote about that more in detail http://appreneur-diaries.com/its-time-to-grow-up-fuck-no

This idea of "growing up" and following that prescription is also embodied in the misuse of the word 'maturity'. The word is used as a weapon to keep people from doing anything but 'what you're supposed to do'... anything else is 'childish'.

This most upsets me when I hear people apply it to themselves. They are being fun, thoughtful, creative and then say something like 'I wish I was being more mature...' NO! Don't! 'Mature' in that context means 'like everyone else who's been scared into compliance'

> "but rather go for short term gratification than for creating their own freedom."

How come starting a family is a "short" term gratification?

That's not what he's comparing himself to, he's not comparing himself to people with sick parents, disabilities or a family to take care of. He's comparing himself to young and educated indulging the life of well-earning bachelors buying shit they don't need.

If one has started a family and doesn't have one's own successful business yet, it's very likely to be forever stuck in the "job-limbo", because one does have responsibilities. Family is the most important thing.

Speaking for myself, I just couldn't start a family without having my own successful startup before, because otherwise I could never give myself and my children the freedom that I consider to be necessary to make a life worth living.

>"That's not what he's comparing himself to, he's not comparing himself to people with sick parents, disabilities or a family to take care of. He's comparing himself to young and educated indulging the life of well-earning bachelors buying shit they don't need."

I am not sure about that, he explicitly said that he is not interested in starting a family.

From the article: "I could have saved a bit less, and developed a taste for expensive shirts or exotic foreign holidays. Or I could have started a family. But I’m not interested in any of those things"

Good luck homy.

I can testify that unless you get off on sleep deprivation and clearing up other people's bodily waste there's little short term gratification in a family.

I've often seen the choice of having kids or getting married being used as a 'quick fix'. Usually for a failing relationship, insecurities or poor financial choices (benefits++). It's not always, but it can be.

Anyone having children to patch up a dodgy relationship is an idiot.

"Things aren't great between us are they?"

"No, what should we do?"

"I know let's try something that will leave us exhausted, financially worse off and with no time to ourselves, that will DEFINITELY help."

OMG intercourse and parental approval all in one???

So, lets cut the BS here. He's never compared himself to those people. It is obvious, he's talking to the vast majority of other people in "safe,rich areas", who also don't have sick parents, disabilities, etc.

And who also have no reason to start families until they are settled in. That's a choice, had you not heard? And if you choose to do it early in life then, again, it's a choice, so, hope it was the right one for you. If not, plenty of time to not become a cog.

He's not the only one, he's not a hero, and he's not claiming to be. But there are a lot of people out there telling us the joys and genius of the 2.4 kids and the job at Google with fancy cars and vacations. We need more people talking about the joys of charting your own path. Less people need to feel like they are 'wrong' for not following the comfortable route, and more voices are needed.

Seriously. Wtf with all these threatened responses, projections of the realizations of their sad silly lives.

Oh yeah, oops, I totally just did that.

I believe that there is something special about not needing to spend large amounts of money on fleeting entertainment.

It's something that none of my peers have managed; they all still spend their income on drinking, cigarettes, tattoos, holidays and so forth. I don't particularly look down on them for it as they're obviously happy in their world doing it. I just think there's more enjoyment to be had outside of a 9-to-5 job and alcohol.

Just because everyone else jumps off a bridge, doesn't make you special for not following. Unless the bridge is on fire, then you probably are a bit special. ;)

Truth be told a lot of your peers feel the same way. They're confused as to why they need to go out and drink themselves stupid every night/weekend but it's what people do and they wanna be close to other people.

I don't particularly look down on them for it as they're obviously happy in their world doing it.

You quite clearly do:

I believe that there is something special about not needing to spend large amounts of money on fleeting entertainment.

Counterxample:

"I don't particularly look down on regular humans."

"I believe that there is something special about Superman, who can travel faster than a speeding bullet and is a man of steel."

It seems clear to me that you can find someone who's different from a group special, without looking down on the group.

I was attempting to say that it isn't something I would like to do myself, or something that I even understand, however I can respect that it is their decision to do so. I'm not gay and I can't imagine myself being gay, but I can stand on the sideline and say that it is perfectly acceptable that other people are.

Fucking bravo. A sane, respectful response. :)

To be fair, many of the things you mention are self inflicted. Fair enough some people have it tough through no fault of their own, some though make choices that set them up for the lifestyle they complain about.

Many? Besides kids and employees, which ones?

Often disease, disability and accidents are caused through poor lifestyle choices. Sometimes lots of little things add up and it's hard to see the true cause. I've not driven for 4 years so I'd say that's put me at a significantly less risk of car related accidents than someone that does.

You example is easily understood, but I think it is an error to think that if you have an healthy and cautious lifestyle, you won't be affected by any disability. There are many environmental factors that are outside of your control like being exposed to some nefarious substance while you were in the womb, with long term effects. And many debilitating diseases like Alzheimer, Parkinson or MS don't have a very clear cause.

You're a little too harsh on the OP, and I'm a saying this as a (now) single guy in his early 30s who is kind of financially supporting his ageing parents. I still think his closing remark stands:

> You just need to spend less money on shit that you don’t need.

that line being the definition of frugality

Is it ? I would say it's just common sense.

Frugrality would be spending basically no money on things you don't need.

So the sentences "spending basically no money on things you don't need." and "spend less money on shit that you don’t need." mean different things?

Well, as a single male with zero responsibilities and enough money to live like this guy I will say that luck plays a small role in this lifestyle. We are all dealt hands in this life and its the choices you make that end up determining your hand. I understand the poster because those of us that live this type of life walk around thinking that those with heavy responsibilities wish they were us. Never walked past a young couple with a kid or two in the grocery store and thought to myself, 'oh wow now thats living!'; not hating, I prefer people live the life that is suited for them.

It's all relative. Take a bunch of people of a similar background as Alex, education, opportunities. Then choosing the lifestyle he has is pretty rare. And if you can cope with the tradeoffs, it is awesome - especially the long term payoffs of freedom.

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